Rated PG-13
Directed by Peter Segal
Released on May 27, 2005
This version of "The Longest Yard" feels like you're watching an abridged remake with sort-of funny jokes covering up the lack of real emotion.
You know when you go to see a movie and then the name of the movie represents what the movie feels like? Well this movie was definitely the longest film I have ever had to watch…
In Sandler's first football incarnation since The Waterboy, The Longest Yard spends120 minutes trying to decide if it wants to be really funny or really poignant.
Yeah and what was with that part of the movie when Chris Rock was turned from a black man into a kabob…I did not know he was Arabic…
Oh shit IC… you single-handedly got this review banned! On another topic, what is with prison and gay jokes? Apparently it's mandatory nowadays.
What? What did I say? Just because some Arabic guy gets burned to a crisp for no reason makes him an unimportant character and yet the movie seemed to say that he was but when the major game day came they had forgotten all about the poor “Bob” who saved Sandler's life.
Yeah, that did feel excessive to the emotional draw of the movie. This movie also brings up an interesting question. Do convicts really deserve to have rights like you and me? Did you see Rock's cell? He had more cool stuff in there than Tergix's room and he was doing 20 to life!
I know...what was that all about…man for the guards being really savage they sure didn't care about alcohol or McDonalds…or explosives for that matter...
Yeah. I can't believe they found a way to slip fast food advertising in as a running gag. As if McD's wasn't a joke already…
I know their food gives me the runs…actually now that I think about it so did this movie…
Yeah, the “runs right out of this theater”. But I think that's actually the $5.00 watered down soda you're drinking.
Oh…man I had to crap twice during this movie…It was sooooo looongggg….seriously…it felt like it took forever… Although you know the jokes were pretty funny…if you are black…like me…
You? An African-American? You can't be serious?
No seriously, look at this card…Official Member of the NRA…Niggas Riding Around…
Where'd you get that?
Ebay…
Wow. What does it take to become a member… dawg?
First of all you can't just say dawg like you and me is cool, but you and me is cool so I will let it slide…to become a member you must first kill your only child, although if you don't have a child you then have to kill someone else's child, in broad daylight…Then you have to rob a liquor store that carries grape soda, oh and make sure that you bring some grape soda and then you are in and the password is written on the back of the black panther card…pretty simple eh?
Everyone in the theater is staring at you in shock…
What you crackers never seen a black man before? What?
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