Rated PG-13
Directed by George Lucas
Released on May 18, 2005
They say third time's a charm... well, not for this saga. Exciting previews and a harder rating can't mask the bad dialogue and lack of surprise spewing from this mish-mash conclusion to the Star Wars prequels. Who knew it was so easy to turn to the dark side?
I'm not a huge fan of Star Wars, but I do love it… classic Star Wars of course. What happened to the new trilogy? Is it just me or did Lucas phone this script in?
E.T. phone home…oh wait that is Spielberg.
I heard somewhere that he had to call in Steven to storyboard the lava planet duel. What was that planet called? Mufasa?
Actually I think it was called planet of the blue screen crap…or Plabscrap…
Hehehe… the documentary Empire of Dreams states that Lucas asked the production designers to make the environments look junky as though they'd been lived in for many years. This sleek designed Star Wars is clean enough to eat off of thanks to the numerous digital effects.
You know if they wanted it to look really crappy they should have just called me…I am the King of Crap…or is that feces?
And what about the name Vader that the Emperor just pulled out of his ass as though he read it off the wall next to him? If I'd known it was that easy to name a Darth I would have named myself Darth Genius along time ago. You can be my apprentice Darth Brown Smear…
Man that name really has a ring to it…maybe from now on that can be my name…You know overall I think that this movie was done in a very sloppy fashion. They truly could have taken a much better approach to the whole Vader intro…
It's hard to say that this movie could be thrown out considering all the work that does go into it, but if the story and characters aren't there then it's just not exciting. And that Vader intro was an obvious nod to Frankenstein… I guess it makes sense considering how stiff Christiansen's acting is… BAM!
Man I hate that guy…he is to acting like, condoms are to sex…they ruin the feeling and half the time you get flaccid and you cannot feel where it is and…
Hey, do you have anymore popcorn?
No but I have some junior mints left…I just want to punch Lucas in the FACE…I want my seven dollars back…
What seven bucks? This was a free screening.
If it was free then who was that guy asking for money at the front…
Who? The chubby guy with the beard and flannel shirt?
Yeah…wait a minute…
George Lucas? He better keep his hand out of the Indy 4 cookie jar.
Yeah…and Hayden “I can't act” Christianson better not be in it…
Okay, well the credits are finally rolling on this one. In the end the Star “Bores” prequel trilogy is a bust. We went from badass dual-lightsaber action to pound-ass dicksaber mayhem. I saw Phantom Menace 12 times in the theater despite Jar Jar Binks' shenanigans and now I might catch another viewing of ROTS (Hmm, rots?… yeah R evenge O f T he S ith is rotten .) in a dollar theater. And what's this last minute “surprise” about Qui Gon being a Jedi ghost the whole time? Way to cover your tracks Lucas!
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